We are Asking So Much of Love

After a long day out of the office, having tension headache because of skipping morning run, nothing offers me more peace better than sitting down on a new cafe with a very impressive internet connection & a cup of hot chamomile tea. I'm just plain grateful.
I've been spending some time reading Elizabeth Gilbert's novel revolving around marriage titled Commitment. Written after Eat, Pray, Love, basically it was about a skeptic who is looking for deeper answer about marriage and easing her fear of commitment, post her spiritual journey to Italy, India, and Indonesia. I love how Liz writes, but not really praising on her way to find enlightenment. Not because of anything, simply because that doesn't fit me.
Well, I'm dealing with bad times too but until now it hasn't crossed my mind to ditch my current partner or leave my job in search for something that can fulfill me. Or maybe I just don't have that kind of courage.

I'm still on the chapter two, but the chapter one really got me. It is titled Marriage and Expectations. In that chapter, Liz explained how she, well, later we can correlate, that we are asking for so much of love. We want our partners to inspire us, we want them to be the seed of our happiness. At first, we think that is a simple request. We ask a little. We want to be happy. We want to be happy because of you, our partner, without realizing it really is so much to ask for.

Our modern society now pushes us to look further out of something that might not change from some years a go. Back then, women might find having secured partner who is financially reliable as enough. Compared to current situation, it was easier to quantify, it was easier to achieve, too. Now, we demand for happiness, soaring love and joy that we hope we can find from our partner. Little did we understand that happiness, when relied on to other person, is never simple. It cannot be measured, pretty much abstract. That is why, we are all asking so much of love, to be complete, contented, and happy because of our significant other.

I'm not suggesting you to drop down the expectations. That is us, we were raised and grown with that. Believing we can achieve high, yet we also sacrifice the contentment for the sake of it. Based on that fact, I try to shift my perspectives of love through releasing my expectations of joy from it. Not that I don't want to be happy, I just don't want it to come only from my significant other. I don't wanna get into false trouble from asking so much from the wrong thing. Anyway, maybe happiness can be much simpler and easier to feel when we ask it from ourselves..and a cup of hot chamomile tea after a long day at work.





FPL