Morning Call

It's been too long.
That's why I come back here. Been missing me, yes? Don't worry, I miss you too. Days were pretty demanding. I've done 3 out of 5 final exams I should face. I spent less time in front of my laptop.
There is quite loss here and there. But, life goes on. Life moves up.
God took my cousin a week a go to a better place up there. The wittiest one, who always came up with a big grin and warm voice. Who always got jokes to share with the entire family.
Guess, God really loves her so He took her. Please pray for her serenity up there. :')

I'm home. Spending my time since awoke this morning in cyberworld.
Just so you know, it feels good to be here again.

Ville Lumière

See you in 2015, mon papillon.

How Time Flies

I'm afraid of it. Of how time flies too fast. Yes, really fast. Every moment blinks in my eyes. Got me speechless and...wounded. No, not wounded.. but confused. Or maybe trapped. Or let's just say..tricked. No, no. Not tricked. Just.. I don't know. It's hard to explain. And I'm scared. I'm scared of how time flies.

Luluh - Maliq and The Essentials

Oh haruskah aku pergi? Salahkah bila ku di sini tak peduli keadaannya?

Katakan, berapa dalam kau ingin aku masuk di kehidupanmu?
Oh, katakan, berapa jauh kau ingin aku ada di hari-harimu?
Bagaimana pantasnya?
Bagaimanaaaaa

Oh haruskah aku pergi? Salahkah bila ku disini tak peduli keadaannya?
Oh setiap kau tersenyum membuatku melupakan dunia nyata, tetap di sini

Katakan, semudah itu aku menanti apa yang kita jalani
Meski akhirnya semudah itu hatiku luluh kembali ke pelukanmu
Bagaimana pantasnya?
Bagaimanaaaaa

Oh haruskah aku pergi? Salahkah bila ku di sini tak peduli keadaannya?
Oh setiap kau tersenyum membuatku melupakan dunia nyata, tetap di sini

Apalah yang diharapkan? Bila tak ada tujuan
Mungkin hanya kesenangan, yang membuat kita terus berteman

Oh haruskah aku pergi? Salahkah bila ku di sini tak peduli keadaannya?
Oh setiap kau tersenyum membuatku melupakan dunia nyata, tetap di sini

Some Luck and Lovely People

taken from : weheartit.com

Life offers you limitless probability. Things can not be predicted. Life knocks you down but it pushes you up... let you feel its bitterness but drive you to endless smile in the entire week. You meet certain people that help you go through boring stuffs, help you survive in the middle of catastrophe of your own heart. They will eventually listen to your words and give silly feed back. Then gone.
But really, in couple of days they will come back and..again, help you smile among the hectic phases.

So why should you worry?

Keep your excitement alive, give your best smile, break a leg.
Pray for me, for some grrreat luck in my very first midterm week in college life.
Let me do my best! Sure, wishing for your best luck too. xx Erin

A Short Long Story

Wondering about what I am doing lately?

• I got a sprain on my left knee, which was.......such a pain. Like a pain in the ass. Annoying, got you stressed, made you feel left out, stressed, and stuck at home. It's been two weeks and Thank God, it keeps getting better.
• My aunt passed away yesterday. A big loss. I'm so gonna miss her good sense on food and cooking.
• Been staying in Depok for five nights and that is marvelous. That is. Remembering the fact I really really really love my room in Jakarta. Living in Depok is fun and comforting.
• I'm looking for a perfect pair of jeans. Any recommendation? I want a pair of distressed jeans which is pale and light blue. So much.
• Had been joining Industrial Engineering Debate Competition for few weeks.
• And........ glad to say, I'm a part of Industrial Engineering Debate Team which will compete with the other majors in Technic Debate Competition next week. Pray for us!

Haveafreakylovelyheartyfriday. FPL

What I Got from The Day Off

These should be done start from tonight :

• say a prayer, no skip allowed
• study, read more, be more knowledgeable
  
• sleep earlier when there's no delayed task
  
• stop twitting too much, oh well
  
• manage the time-manage the time-manage the time
• please do saving, Ferinda!
  
• stay focused on some specific targets, don't get easily distracted
• stop sweating small stuffs
• pay attention to His gifts and grace
  
• be contented with myself
• write something!

wish me luck wish me luck wish me luck with everything

Soothing Dreams

I've been dreaming lately about..

sipping a mug of macchiato while waiting for the rain to stop.
going overseas, to the prettiest city like Prague and enjoy the night light.
getting myself dressed in pastel colors.
snapping photos, lovely scenes, memorable time.
chatting with my best friend who stays in US.
writing some love stories, some heart-breaking stories.
striding myself in shopping mall, with best friends and a cup of frozen yogurt.
getting lost in the bookstore then find a book that I've been looking for.
going to college with no worry haunting me.
dancing. dancing. dancing.
having a manicure. a fine one.
being driven home at midnight by the boyf.
feeling smart towards myself.
listening to Lene Marlin and not crying.

Just do come true, I hope. :---)

A Box of Chocolate

I truly feel like having a box of chocolate which wrapped in a black dove paper with a white ribbon on the top. Ordinary. Too ordinary and not interesting at all. Then I tend to tear the ribbon, then the wrapping paper. It is full of chocolate. With different shapes, different sizes, and different fillings. Yes, I love blueberry truffles so much.
Life has been like that. I did not know who these people are. How they truly talked, how they communicated. I faced them everyday. Everyday. Everyday.
Until now.
And you know what, if they were that chocolate, they would be my favourite truffles. They would be the blueberry ones or chocochips ones.
Offering me with a bright point-of-view, giving me some tips and trick or some words to survive in the place called college. Yes, they are all doing like sunshine
Life eventually takes me to the place where the bright and lovely people stay and gather. Meeting them are things I could never imagine before.
Great. My truffles. I love them.

Surprise

Howdy.
Everything was surprising last week. Some mishaps, more luck. Some tears, more caress. I got a sprain on my left knee, walking is definitely prohibited until everything gets better so I don't go to college today. Hope it will be better as soon as better as possible :)
This sprain somehow gives me qutte a time to rethink about everything. The past, the future, and the current. I realised some mistakes I've made, about the planning thingy, about adapting. I did everything recklessly. A bit resentment exist here, in my heart. But hey! Let's see for the next. I need planning. Whatever, my life is a bit messy. I tend to forget important stuffs in my room in Depok, I rarely clean my room, I study a bit. I know I've gotta handle everything.
This sprain knocks my heart in its way, in its pain.
I was putting a wrong thing over my focus.
I should go back to the right place. I should make the timeline. I should do everything whole-heartedly. Let's draw some for future, shall we?
Love, time, health are precious. Don't ever take them for granted or you'll get lost.
Inspite of the sprain, I still feel blessed and loved. I've just made some future plan!
Live righteously and enjoy. xxx FPL

I'm 17 but I act 20

[ x ] You know how to make a pot of coffee
[ x ] You keep track of dates using a calendar
[ ] You own a credit card
[ ] You know how to change the oil in a car
[ ] You’ve done your own laundry
[ x ] You can vote in an election
[ x ] You can cook for yourself
[ x] You think politics are interesting
TOTAL SO FAR : 5
[ ] You show up for school late a lot
[ x ] You always carry a pen/pencil in your bag/purse/pocket
[ x ] You’ve never gotten a detention
[ ] You have forgotten your own birthday
[ x ] You like to take walks by yourself
[ x] You know what credibility means, without looking it up
[ ] You drink caffeine at least once a week
TOTAL SO FAR: 9
[ x ] You know how to do the dishes
[ x ] You can count to 10 in another language
[ x ] When you say you’re going to do something you do it
[ ] You can mow the lawn
[ x] You study even when you don’t have to
[ ] You have hand washed a car before
TOTAL SO FAR: 13
[ x ] You can spell experience, without looking it up
[ ] The people at Starbucks know you by name
[ ] Your favorite kind of food is take out
[ ] You can go to the store without getting something you don’t need
[ ] You understand political jokes the first time they are said
[x ] You can type pretty quick
TOTAL SO FAR: 15
[ ] Your only friends are from your place of employment
[ ] You have been to a Tupperware party
[ x ] You have realized that practically no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and have a job.
[ ] You have more bills than you can pay
[ x ] You have been to the beach
[ x ] You use the internet every day
[ ] You have travelled overseas for more than 5 times
[ x] You make your bed in the morning
[ x ] You realised people of the opposite gender might just make better friends.
GRAND TOTAL: 20
Repost this with the subject as: I’m (how old you are) but I act (what you got on the test).

taken from Panda Bear.

Oh Dear

In a foreign place
The saving grace was the feeling
That it was her heart that he was stealing
He was ready to impress
And the fierce excitement
The eyes are bright
He couldn't wait to get away
And I bet that Juliet was just the icing on the cake
Make no mistake, no

And even if somehow he could have shown you
The place you wanted
Well I'm sure you could have made it that bit better on your own
And I bet she told a million people that she'd stay in touch
But all the little promises that don't mean much
When there's memories to be made
And I hope you're holding hands by New Year's Eve
They made it far too easy to believe
That true romance can't be achieved these days

And even if somehow they could have shown you the place you wanted
Well I'm sure you could have made it that bit better on your own
You are the only ones who know (Only Ones Who Know - Arctic Monkeys)


got me speechless.

Bones, Flesh, and The Bulletproof Youngsters

Life is a certain uncertainty.

Thanks to college life for bringing me a bunch of inspiration. Inspiring sweethearts, wonderful places, everyday light jokes, marvelous heart beat, complicated unite, and everything yellow.
I feel more alive. Commuting at the high-peak 6am and spending the rest of the day with funniest people I've ever met. Life is...wonderful.
I can open another perspectives and by now, I really get God gives what you need not what you want.
Brand new sphere that I fall for is too..unidentified.
Striving for perfection, yet doing it with joyfully.
Can I?
Hell yeah.

Yes, we all can cause we're the bulletproof youngsters.
Happy Independence Day! #Indonesia65

There's No Such a Thing Called The Right Time

I've been telling that to myself lately. If I always wait for the right time, probably I won't do much of anything. I stop waiting for the right time and just carry on what's worth doing. Everything will seem so wrong at the first, but turning out pretty in next to no time. You know, our perception sometimes works too hard so we can not see something in another perspective. We judge too early about many things. About people, food, tasks, and... college life.

Hello, it's been hectic and again, I'm not gonna wait any right time to blog else my idea will drain away. I haven't stayed in my brand new room. I still go to my college n early morning and then return home afterwards. Tiring, but you should know, my room is worth the distance. :--)
Everything's fine. I'm fine. I pick up my old old old dream to live and learn in 'that' city after finishing my first degree. I hope I can get back to the game, get the cool scores, make my parents realise that I do the best thing. Pretty obvious, I'm redrawing my old lost scheme of perfect life. Even when I know, perfection never exists.

There's no such a thing called the right time to start something, to leave something, to do something. There's no such a thing called the right time to forgive, to get along, to change yourself. But now.
Yeah, that was a reason we build for our own comfortness. Nothing to do with that. Just get what you want. Every dream is worth fighting for. :):):)


Fyi, my whole brand new college life is awesome.

xxx FPL

Recent Things

• I will hit my college life soon.
• ..and yes, I'm excited.
  
• Glad I still can join my jazz classes!!!
  

• My lovely boyf got an eye correction surgery.
• ..please pray for his wellness.
• and his admission test. soon :)
  

• I do some good things like..
• ..commuting by train to my university.
• It feels effin good to take public transports.
• Why?
• Cause I hate flooding the street.
• with my dad's car.
  

Oh I love life like this. :----)

Bênção

Or they call it "blessing".

Capoeira is fascinating!
My body is fine but whole aching. Anyway, it is worth trying, worth doing, and worth the pain.
Armada is my favorite kick. Can I learn it more?
The workshop was a total bless, not boring, and awesome. The best part was when they combined Capoeira movements with Jazz techniques. Pretty.

Contagious

Hey, I found this pict from here and it really went with my thought. Contagious things are eerie. You know, how certain people can affect you and your life easily. Their methods, their ways of seeing life which sometime don't go with you but.. got you infected.
Let us take me as the example.
I'm not a beauty addict. Far from it. I enjoy mostly myself in my room reading books. It's more comfortable plus relaxing than staying hours to get a back massage. True. I know what I treasure but somehow another spirit spreads to me.
My mom loves beauty salon. Not so much, but she takes care of everything, and somehow, in a time, I realise I go to beauty salon more often than I used to do.
Contagious.

It's just the simplest one. Now can you imagine how they can affect you? People. Their thoughts. Their acts. Their judgments. Life goes on that way, demandingly contagious. It is like flu virus. You can get it if you don't pay any attention to yourself.

Then I see it is important to choose our ways to interact with people around us. Let us hold our self esteems. Don't get easily intimidated by someone's bad mood. Be free and make the protection from the contagious bad things.
and for sure..
to open up to the good things.
So.. just like the picture tells. Enthusiasm and pessimism are contagious. Like anything else.
Which one should we choose? Guess, we all know the answer.
Spread the good things, be valuable, and let live.

Difficult!

Baby you should know, it is difficult to commit to two different things.I got another playground to write, share, quote, upload cool picts, and definitely talk shit about creepy stuffs. It feels like more free there. But baby, leaving this one is even more difficult. This is my first love. And baby, I try to be faithful here. So I keep writing here and there. All of my emotions are splitted up. Don't worry, I'm going nowhere. I just have another place that I am more interested in. Cause I can talk about anything, everything, anyone, and everyone. Without you or anyone else feel being detested or harmed by sarcasm which sometimes throbs you hard.

It is like using eyeliner without mirror. Challenging..and keeping me sharp.
I keep my sharpness, baby.
Two different places, the same mind. Just to be true, the other place is pretty undeniabl.
I can't leave. I can't choose one.
Mind paying a visit? Ask. I will cheerfully tell.

It Gave Me an Impact

taken from here.

This morning, I woke up to nothing. I grabbed my blackberry and saw everything around. I exactly knew my holiday was gonna be ended soon. So I decided to take those novels I'd bought weeks a go. Some Nicholas Sparks' and Neil Gaiman's. Both are my favourite. Different genre but really got my way. I finished The Last Song in teary eyes. Always got me cried out.

Was it me or the novel that so cheesy?

You ought to read that novel. Seems another normal love story, but too pretty, and too true. It seemed to tell you about your regular days and it gave me an impact because... it was all normal. It could happen to anyone.
The end of the book?
Happy ending. I also fall for happy ending. The main role got her grip, she followed her passion and got back to life. Everyone should do like that, shouldn't we?

It really got me soft-hearted. :)

I want to go back to my grip. I want to write as much as I did. How I could post many things in a day. I want to take good pictures as many as I took.
I want to be positive in every thing I face. I want to spill some love, more laughters.
I want to buy a lot of pretty novels. Good novels that bring me impact like this one I read today. I want to do my best, in every single deed. I want to share my effort with everyone. I want to forgive things I said I could not. I want to be what I want to be. With alll of my ability and passion and God's given.

Thank Nicholas Sparks for giving me a kick.
I want to make the most of everything. I realise, God always puts his Grace in the right place.
And I should be grateful. I should stop worrying about...everything and be sincerely kind.

Have a good day, Sweethearts.

Love Song

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am home again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am whole again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am young again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am fun again

However far away I will always love you However long I stay I will always love you Whatever words I say I will always love you I will always love you

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am free again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am clean again

However far away I will always love you However long I stay I will always love you Whatever words I say I will always love you I will always love you

(Love Song - The Cure)

I Wanna Be Andy Sachs

My most favourite film ever. The Devil Wears Prada is well-touched to represent my dream. Or obsession. Or maybe, my very first obsession. Working on a media, to be specific magazine, to be more specific fashion magazine, else deeper specific high-end fashion magazine.
SUPERB! I want to work in that industry. Gathering with the overachievers or meeting some awesome designers, in charge of some pages of the issue, giving some advice to improve some parts, dressing in a good way to the office, tres chic. Fabulous, indeed.
Magazine industry always got me mesmerized. Wonderful, yes? How people's thoughts can be formed into something artistic that delightly informative and pretty in the same way...

Have you seen the movie? Go watch it!

Being Andy Sachs is beyond words. Hope someday I'm gonna make this come true :):):)

Neil Gaiman Says...

“Sometimes you wake up. Sometimes the fall kills you. And sometimes, when you fall, you fly.”

So don't be afraid to take step and going down, eventually we'll find a way to feel better. Eventually, we'll get rid of people that bother us much. We will stop restating ourselves as losers as they made us feel to be. We'll find our way to feel happier with people who really respect you and never let you down.
They exist. Some who truly don't realise that they make us feel bad. So just don't care. Let intimidation get into us. We're bigger than this. If losers exist, they are not those who fail but those who talk and declare too much. If losers exist, they are those who quit earlier. SO DON'T QUIT. Move forward. Tell the world that being nice is just another crapshit if you don't do it sincerely. Tell the world that everyone is seeking for attention so let's throw some judgmental thoughts to improve everything.
Be weirdly good. Let's fall then FLY. Cause every moment happens once. You always can start it all over again but stain you left exist in everyone's thought. It never fades.
Make our own marks, let no badness go in.


Me? I'm happy and thank God for what He's given for me.
For every chances.
For good people and moments He keep around me.
For every bad people He take far from me.
and Neil Gaiman also says..

“Lives are snowflakes - forming patterns we have seen before, as like one another as peas in a pod (and have you ever looked at peas in a pod? I mean, really looked at them? There's not a chance you'd mistake one for another, after a minute's close in.”

Grace

Almost every grace can be found in balance lives. Love. Family. Friends. Clothes. Comics. Books. Cameras. Cupcakes. Or Else. Things you love. So let's call them everything. It comes in every shapes. Being nice to everyone eventually will pay us back. Don't be mad to those who get us wrong, maybe they got no idea towards who we are. Let people throw us judgemental thoughts. Use them as mirrors. Are we good? Or bad? Face that. Cause, here, what they say matter. Even not most. We all know. And just don't lie. Liars are cluelessly pathetic.
I'm being grateful. How about you?

A Pray

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” - Reinhold Niebuhr

This is Dedicated to Dayen

Hello D, thank you to inspire me writing for you in this morning, when I really should take a bath and hit the school to buy prom ticket. So how are you doing, sweetheart? Anyway, none of these post I made literally dedicated to you or replied to yours, but this one.
Don't bother :---)
I'm writing the posts for all those who read, and if it gets in to you, I'm pleased but don't get a heartache, all of these are just another judgmental doodles of mine. xoxo

So Just Let Go

Heartbreak? All I know it was real.
Yes, some people really should leave, so you have enough space for the better one. Maybe in time you don't want anything else, you don't want anyone else, you just want him/her and full stop. It's naivety you can deny. Even I.. I've been the phase of not wanting to let go. Then I made a thought, it was just too selfish to keep people for your own happiness when even you yourself could not see the future anymore. Memories, no matter how pretty they were, are sort of past. You can't move forward if you keep looking back. I did and I feel a bit regret of it. I lost my time because of staying too long, waiting too long, going nowhere, being brought and driven by memories. That's pathetic. And it's been hard for me to release how I felt back then. I know that unease will stay, but time almost can cure every pain. You just need to know and keep your chin up. Damn those heartbreakers, just move on. Life won't wait. No time could rewind. Forgive and forget. Eventually, you'll find out what God bigger plan is.

Because We're Talking About Bad Boys

taken from here

I haven't found one. Or maybe I have but I did not really pay attention to them. They are attractive. Bad boys are attractive. But, I never really fall for them. I'm not gonna throw any judgments, about boys, about things they do, about how they see and treat the girls. That would be pretty unfair to them.
Bad is conditional. Bad boys are even more conditional. Smoking doesn't patch them a-bad-boy-label. Neither drunken nor driving madly.
How about womanizing?
How about offering girls some hopes then walking away?
Those are bad. But girls, indeed, love to enjoy their games. Girls eventually have already known what the future might talk upon the relationship between them, it may turn to relationshit but somehow.. They don't give a damn. Keep going. Broken-hearted. Crying.
It's important to see around, listen to their sayings, yes, it can be wrong, but it also can be correct. You know your heart always can feel the best from the very first time.
Anyway, for me personally, I'd love to join their games. But not in a serious way. Crime should be paid with crime. Yes?

I Know I've Changed

What makes life seem force us to change? There ain't no force. It's just us. Here. Walking through the days with opened eyes so we simply can see how we can survive. Else, how we can overcome unfortunate things and transform them as some additions to the infinite luck we earn. We are in charge of our own crisis. So better don't make our own crisis. Life seems complicated cause we insist on making that complicated, yes?
How would you see me now?
I'm practically not somebody who I used to be. I don't wear heels as often as I did. Neither make up. I don't visit Starbucks. I save my money for books I want the most. It feels bad for me to splurge on clothes. I spend my weekend with my family. I don't crave for Frozen Yogurt.

And this far, I'm happy with it.
How lack of blue mascara doesn't bother me and my mood plus how I can be true to people I face everyday.

I know I've changed.
For whatever it takes, I grab all of the changes as bless. None of them should be cursed of. I still go for my favourite Caramel Frappucino, my favourite patty, and clothes. But my action towards them are completely different. Enjoying them as the sparkling things only, not the main ones I have to get and be delighted of.

I know I've changed.
The way I react to problems. How I encounter them with more thoughts. How it's easier for me to make good decision. And to be emotional sometimes. Emotionally well-mannered, for sure.

Changes are good. Do you change? Ask yourself and smile for it.
Believe me, you need them.

C

I'm telling you about C. Yes, C is pretty. And amazing. C got almost everything. And lose almost nothing. But C, C feels lonely. Simply cause C can't count the bless God give in. C drenches in pain and gives no damn about her surrounding. C is so focused on pain in her life that C doesn't care that people might cheer. C smiles a lot. C cries a lot. C is nonchalant. C is.. C could be anyone. Anyone who seems so careless. About their own lives. Anyone who gives too much space for eerie things called heartbreak and envious.

How about embracing the bless? Have a nice day, sweets.

Favourite Love Stories

Lately, I spent my lazy time with novels by Nicholas Sparks. It's kinda weird reminding how I used to back off from romance genre and dive in wonderfully restless Chuck Palahniuk or let myself dream about Coraline. The most lovely love story I'd ever known was just Stardust. That was pretty enough for me and now... I can stuck with The Last Song or A Walk to Remember for hours. Both I've watched those films, but reading them gave me another feelings. Way deeper and get me emotionally involved more. I find it was nice to shrug in normal love story. Something that we may find cheesy or just too ordinary. There's nothing to do with Vampires or Werewolves, no fairies or witches. Neither Party Crashers and a drop out medschool guy. This kind seems regular but real touching. Just another popular boy, another regular girl, used to hate each other, then... fall in love. then fall out of love. then get back into love. Well, that's somehow nice.

In addition, the heartbreak part... wow, wrenching the heart. Nicholas Sparks is genius and his books are magical. The best part I love is the fact that love got many ways to break your heart and.. heal it.
Something I've never realised before. I end up with getting mesmerized with natural conversations he put on his novels. Understandably charming and real. They make you dream of prince charming or mister nice guy or maybe just another jock that really care about you. Pretty in a usual way.

I guess-slash-hope this won't be a temporary love. I'd love to keep my favor for this genre for such a long term, call me late, but I've just found another interesting things which open both my mind and eyes. I've found things that tug my heartstring and those are good.
Love story is good. Hell yeah.

It;s Your Untidy Hair

I take no parts of me for you
You simply own everything so I could just stare
Staring at your untidy hair
Or let's try some jokes
Because our laughter is worth it

I can see your cutest smirk
It can not go wrong
Just like your untidy hair
It can be tidy
But we both know untidy will do better

Just like me, plus you.
It can not go wrong. Yeah, we always do better. Better as ever.

"Di saat kamu ingin melepaskan seseorang,
ingatlah pada saat kamu ingin mendapatkannya.
Di saat kamu mulai tidak mencintainya,
ingatlah saat pertama kamu jatuh cinta padanya.
Di saat kamu mulai bosan dengannya,
ingatlah selalu saat terindah bersamanya.
Di saat kamu ingin menduakannya,
bayangkan jika dia selalu setia.
Saat kamu ingin membohonginya,
ingatlah di saat dia jujur padamu.
Maka kamu akan merasakan arti dia untukmu.

Jangan sampai di saat dia sudah tidak di sisimu,

kamu baru menyadari semua arti dirinya untukmu.

Yang indah hanya sementara.

Yang abadi adalah kenangan.

Yang ikhlas hanya dari hati.

Yang tulus hanya dari sanubari.

Tidak mudah mencari yang hilang.

Tidak mudah mengejar impian.

Namun yang lebih susah adalah mempertahankan yang ada.

Sebab, walaupun tergenggam bisa terlepas juga akhirnya.

Ingatlah pada pepatah,

'Jika kamu tidak memiliki apa yang kamu sukai,

maka sukailah apa yang kamu miliki saat ini.'

Belajar menerima apa adanya dan berpikir positif.

Hidup bagaikan mimpi,

seindah apapun, ketika tersadar semuanya sirna tak berbekas;

Rumah mewah bagai istana,

harta benda yang tak terhitung,

kedudukan, dan jabatan yg luar biasa,

tetapi ketika nafas terakhir tiba,

sebatang jarum pun tak bisa dibawa pergi.

Sehelai benang pun tak bisa dimiliki.

Apalagi yang mau diperebutkan.

Apalagi yang mau disombongkan.

Maka jalanilah hidup ini dengan keinsafan nurani.

Jangan terlalu perhitungan.

Jangan hanya mau menang sendiri.

Jangan suka sakiti sesama,

apalagi terhadap mereka yang berjasa bagi kita.

Belajarlah tiada hari tanpa kasih.

Selalu berlapang dada dan mengalah.

Hidup ceria, bebas leluasa.

Tak ada yang tak bisa diikhlaskan.

Tak ada sakit hati yang tak bisa dimaafkan."

Worth to read, worth to feel. taken from aldhin's.

How do you know when you’re in love with someone? Is it when he’s the first thing that comes into you mind when you wake up and the last thing that you think of before you go to sleep? Or is it when your heart melts every time he looks into your eyes? The truth is, the signs come in a thousand different ways.

When you’re having a really bad day and hearing his voice on the phone just makes it all go away. When all you want to do is listen to him talk passionately about his plans for the future. When you would sacrifice your shopping time just to cheer him up on the field. When a mention of his name makes you miss him so much. When all you want to do is staying up and taking care of him when he’s sick. When your face glows every time you meet him. When even the way he laughs and eats and sleeps fascinate you. When you realize you can finish each other’s sentences. When you can recognize his perfume from miles away. When you laugh when he laughs. When you love seeing the reflection of yourself in his eyes. When you can’t stop smiling every time people talk about the two of you. When you remember him in your prayer. When you feel that he’s the only one who can understand you. When everything that makes him happy will make you happy, no matter how hurtful it is inside. When you’re often torn between your own egocentricity and your feelings for him. When really you’re mad at him but all you want to do is cry on his shoulder. When you can’t help glancing at him every other second as you’re both in the car and he’s seriously watching the traffic. When you actually enjoy the moment when he’s teasing you eventhough you’re pissed. When you dreams of yourself being married to him with kids. When you want to be the woman who makes him coffee and puts on his tie every morning. When you’re seriously reconsidering the relocation because it means leaving him as you move to another country. When you find his boyish whining attitude is endearing. When you find his snoring endearing. When you have your own nickname for him. When every time his name pops up in your inbox you smile. When you gladly wipes his sweat as he changes your flat tire. When you find his singing entertaining even though he can’t carry a tune. When you forget when was the last time his name doesn’t cross your mind. When you can remember perfectly the sound of his funny laugh, his fake laugh, and his amused laugh. When he’s the only face you want to be on your 500 bucks Anya Hindmarch be-a-bag. When you would stay awake just to watch him sleep. When you’re seriously thinking of getting a tattoo of his name on your left hand. When he makes you happy and makes you cry at the same time. When you want him to always be your ‘imam’ when you’re praying. When you’re glad that you can be helpless sometimes because it means you can rely on his strong arms to help you. When being with him makes you want to be a better person. When everything could go wrong in the world and it’s okay, because he’s there, with you.


taken from : Putri Erdisa's blog
make your own one and let me know, bold/larger the line that fits you.

PACMAN

I used to loathe Pacman.
Why? Simply cause I never won and it got me thrilled too much.
But anyway, today is the first day I win that game! Wiiiii I started to like it :3
Only one round but enough to light my day up.
Happy 30th Anniversary, Pacman!
I'm amused. Oh hell yeah. Thanks to Uncle Google who made its icon in Pacman form.

Mi Angelo

I'm not good at words when it comes about you ♥

Comeback?

It's been a while since I really wrote here. Not a while since I stopped longing for thing-or-someone who doesn't worth longing for. A while since I fell in love with my boyfriend and he keeps me to fall in love with him everyday, every single day. A while since I got accepted in the university I want, majoring the super-cool-hell-yeah Industrial Engineering. A while since I told you what happened in my days. They say, you made a journal to find out wrong things in your days. How can I make one when everything feels so blissful then?
So here I am, starting to blog, trying to back on track, fulfil you with my thoughts, unstoppable thoughts, my infinite imagination, and daily chores. I know this may sound silly to you, but I miss typing on my laptop without running out of ideas.
Oh well, how inspired I am.
Microblogging is one of thousand reasons why I rarely try to write. Some idea pops out everytime and when I twit, it will just go away, without any developments. I got plenty of time, nothing to do. Yeahs, unproductively happy, but something wears me out. I want to maintain this blog like I used to. Writing good things, bad things, curses, love stories, quotes, reviews, artworks, etc.
Let me back back back on this.
So yesterday, I just finished some of college thingy like looking for kost and paying the fee.
Thumbs up, now I can enjoy my uh-oh long holiday... with writing. Hopefully. Wish me luck.

The Tests Speak about Me

just click for a larger image!

Rainy afternoon, nothing to do, I decided to do blogwalking. Stumbled upon Alanda Kariza's; Found some fun tests from here
Just try on them :) Quite interesting! Yes, they fit me well. Agree? :P

Current Mood

You know, time when you exactly want to be the listener, watcher, and definitely reader. I'm in. Not that I want to be less-productive, I'm just... in the mood of being an observer.

In The Name of Ego

What does it take to listen to your heart?
It can't be wrong. Ego and lust drive it to a crack. The conscience simply knows the good thing, but we somehow insist on doing the wrong thing. In the name of pride, coolness, or ego. We stick to a thing that ruins us slowly, we don't wanna hear the heart saying, we lie to what we feel, we run from reality, we choose the opposite. In the name of ego.

Remember when life is as simple as going to kindergarten and finding out that the one who loves us the most is mom? Life has never changed much.
Your mom still love you that much. We are the one who has changed.

You know what's right, carry on.

Snap Snap Snap

Have just downloaded SNAP!.
Holiday face. Poker face.
Haven't taken a bath yet.
Missing my DASR.

Have a nice day! ♥

Removed

For me, removing tag is extremely easy.
Especially yours.

Not Paul Arden, It's Me

This is about paths.

First path.
You did many hardworks to get there, tried many things, let them eat your time, recklessly enjoyed every difficult lessons. You went there in furious, came back with glorious. But what you got ain't something you'd been dreaming of for a quite long time. You splitted. What you got was precious, but somehow you didn't feel like belong to it.


And another path.

You worked it in no attention, you paid your life for the other path. You moved slightly, you kept coming for more but you still had the heart for the another. You moved. You got. You felt no glorious. Cause that wasn't something you would die for. That wasn't something that ever crossed your mind. You thanked God, you relieved, you didn't have to leave something.



You wondered.

About both paths.About what those people said upon them. About your so called dreams. About your selfish aim. About your reckless target in life. About your mom. About your dad. About your boyfriend. About your own abilities. About your own talent. About things you would leave. About things you would get.


Then you walked the days, you saw everything, every heart beat. You looked back to your aims, your reckless and easy target. You got the answer.
And after all, those above, I don't talk about you.
I talk about myself.
And myself somehow got its voice. Paul Arden said, "it's not how good you are, it's how good YOU WANT TO BE".


I chose the second path. I used to not running for it, I don't ever give a wink.
Yet it pays me serenity. Weird.
The recklessly beyond expectation one. Oh, I forget, I love reckless things.
And not because that's the second one, the surpriseful one, I won't be good.
Excellence stays with those who do with heart.
I'm not telling you to give your dream up and however, you will know nothing if you haven't got it.

You may be someone who tend to have big heart and keep chasing. I can chase, but I've already lost my passion in things I used to run for. I know this may sound horrible. You may think I'm a loser, a narrow-minded person, and not a hardworker. But I gave up on that. Not because I'm a loser, it's because I've found my way.

I believe in this with no reasons. Strong feeling tells me I can be cool on that path B-)
Bismillahirrahmanirrahiiim!
May God bless you, me, and us.
I'm looking forward to hearing good news from the fighters.
Have a good day!

Btw, this is a family heritage. I'm feeling blue...err with mostly yellow.

Let It Die

Shattered, different angles, and grips. You lost, you're fooled.
Don't take it too long, just let it die. Sincerely.
Build another one. Yes, build another one.

I Wish I Would Have Seen You in The Post Office

Mr. Alex Turner...







source
My very first love.

Quoting

"For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be.There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again." - Benjamin Button, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Dear Istina,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, STAR!

image courtesy : torik danumaya

My Favourite Ones

"Cinta pertamaku pada A Ling menimbulkan perasaan seperti aku baru pandai 
naik sepeda. Ia seperti kembang api, seperti pasar malam, seperti lebaran. 
Cintanya mengajakku menulis puisi. Cintanya adalah sastra."
  Lain hal pada Katya, Ikal mendeskripsikan,
  "Cinta pada Katya adalah chemistry. Cintanya memancing caudate nucleus dari 
sudut-sudut gelap otak, menyalakan dopamin pengundang resiko-resiko moral, dan 
memantik simpul-simpul saraf yang mengobarkan ide-ide platonik."

Edensor - Andrea Hirata

What would you do if you had a rocker cousin?
Just asking. Yeah, just asking.

I Do

source

1205 Giveaway!

Yeahs, I've just joined that.
Click here, follow her blog, and win the prizes! Btw, she's a cool fashion-blogger. :)

Alhamdulillah

So long, Highschool :--)

Beautifying Mind

source

source ---- oh that's so true.

L

----------------------------------------------------------
Mengapa berat ungkapkan cinta padahal dia ada?
Dalam rinai hujan, dalam terang bulan, juga dalam sedu sedan..

Vespa dan Jaket

talents : Feruz Kausar, Istina Dwi P.

Romantika Remaja Ibukota

talents : Istina Dwi P. & Widi P.

Flashing-Back

That picture was taken on the first day. A whole week which is memorable and hard to forget. A few people, a lot of emotion. Nothing to curse. Tiny things started there and ended there, too.
Don't worry, Schoolympic 2010 was great, a cute little memory. That's all.

Quickies

• My D60 and I are reunited, we are bestfriends again.
• I bring him wherever I can and now his name is Joey, officially.
• I love snapping pictures, I need models.
• Who wants to be the model? Leave ur comments here.
• I can't wait joining the hip-hop class
• Am splurging and happy
• Life's good, how about you?
  

Do you feel my heartbeat when I'm close to you?~

It's a Story of Love, Story of Life

source.


"I don't need you to be my prince, my Simba, neither my Chehshire Cat.
I'm not gonna write any Disney stories, neither any love story with you.
Ours is a story of love and lovers, fulfilled with beam of sunshine plus sparkling moonshine.
We can be Tarzan and Jane, but that does not represent things inside we got.
Ours are more than that and the most important thing..
ours is real, and does not exist in the local movies".

Yeahs

Things I'd love to say but I just don't :

• "I want to see you in Mars"
• "Your scent lingers on me, too much, and it soaks my soul"
• "Everything you do can not be right in my eyes"
• "I'm seeking for inspirations, can you help me?"
• "This is nice. You are nice"
• "It would be nice to unfollow your twitter, dearest"
  

Funny Thoughts about Past

I did something silly. I rediscovered the old posts and laughing weirdly. Sarcastically. I ended up confused. How could I do life like that and... no one tried to open my eyes? Even a bit.
I'm feeling pretty stupid, pretty restless, pretty fainted about those times. Not that I regret that, I just........ stranded at that time. I got no one to take me away from the silence, from my phase-of-drowning-in-pain. Clearly, almost a year. A year gone with pain for nothing. That was sad.
Yeah. To keep your feeling just for yourself, longing to nothing, and doing like sh*t.

It was the risk for keeping all things to yourself, Erin.

HOLIDAY TO-DO LIST

Week 1

• Practicing driving, get a driver license.
• Finishing some books, some novels.
• Doing secret projects
• Making up my desk and wardrobe
  

Current Obsession

obsessed on this, too much.

They Say

Different roles, different sides. Mistaken, mistaking. Oh yes, that's how we deal. I find some thing which may come up a bit weird yet funny.

They say, "karma rules".

What you pretty did is what you pretty get. Some people may curse on you like you ever curse on them. Some people may do bitching about your dress like you do. But don't ever forget, there are people who love you much, simply because you love them much.
Those who are gonna pay attention, because you are doing the same.

So, just choose what we wanna get. And do it to others.
Because they say, "karma rules".

A Few Words

Why you? Because you definitely outshine in everything. Maybe you just don't see, either you just don't realise.
But instead of things, you are sparkling, and that's why I love you. Not anyone else.

The Reasons of My Absence

• College preparation
• Another doodling space---just ask me for the link.

SEE YOU LATER

E = M C^2

He was not just a physicists, he was a great human being. I can't stop wondering about Einstein. Everyone knows how I'm not fond of physics. But Mr. E is really taking my attention. About his background, his amazing way of thinking, his life, and the most.. his quotes.
Despite his look with puffy eyes and tired sight, he got tremendous thing. Yes, he was the true genius man. I spent some time to google around his quotes and ended up with good words which then opened my perspective. I saw things clearer.

The best thing he had ever discovered was relativity.
Yes, everything is relatives. Nothing's the same because of relativity and we can't ask it to be the same, because it's relatives.
The lesson I take from relativity is everything is not always what it seems.
And that's effin' true.
See? How great Mr. Einstein was?

and my favorite quotes from him..

"The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once." -AE

I hate it when I tend to write about you and then somehow I lose my words.
Then I hate when my fingers start to crimp, going blank.
And it happens for many times.
You got me speechless like you always do.
How can I not be? Tons of laughter you spill on me is priceless.
Moreover, every encouragement, every faith that dispatches every burdening things.
You're the stress-reliever in the busy moment, the shoulder to lean on when it comes to be so tiring and not so funny. You remind me to see things from different sight and not to sweat small stuffs like identity card's photo that I loathe because of its bad printing.
I'm considering you as the funniest guy alive.
Yeah, the only one who comes with balloons and much love. Je t'aime, Dimico.

(Y)

THINGS I DO AFTER ALL OF THESE HECTIC DAYS :

• Speaking another foreign languages, not English, Japanese, German, either Chinese.
• Playing the guitar all day, writing some songs, singing like crazy.
  
• Typing many stories on my own Macbook. HA.
• Learning things I love!!! Things I really put my passion on.

Live mighty,
FPL

Fixed

It's embarassing to hail the past. No need to turn back the clock or walk behind. All chance for the future lies in front of our eyes. We got nothing to run for. We got things to live for.
Celebrate the hectic days, I'm turning to the old me.
Just wish me so much luck.

Those Questions

What change do you want to see in your personal life - right now?
A better perspective. I want to see everything from both sides, wider. Having faith in myself and things I do. Quitting bothering some people who ever hurt me. I hardly can forget how people I believe talk behind my back, not in the front of my face. Getting rid of those thing from now on. I don't want to replay either restart. I just want to walk away, live life to the fullest, and make the best of myself.

What change do you want to see in your community & country by 2015?
A greener city, a lot of hazy public parks and less of shopping malls. How about turning those malls into shops along the clean road? Warmer people and less crime.

What sort of programmes or ideas of campaigns would you support?
Random-act-of-kindness campaign. Every single good deed will be paid.


taken from : Loft a Love Loaf, I'm kinda missing her thoughts and smart words.

Public Enemy

A topic that crosses my mind lately. In spite of the busy days, this thought slips, appears, and I can't resist not to write about this.

In life, you can't please everyone. That's a fact. A very erratic fact. Contradiction happens for real and undeniable. You'll always find a person who goes in a different way with you. Or maybe some people. Those people will throw you a curios sight or maybe a nasty sight. They will talk good about what you did or just curse over you.

Public enemy does exist. Have you ever met one of them? Or are you?

One thing I believe that if we can't like everyone, why should everyone like us?
Life is a big karma. What you get is what you give.
And I guess, you deserve those things. So do I. So does everyone else.

Some people want to struggle for things they love.
Some don't bother time and distance.
Some fight each other everyday.
Some just sit and waiting for the lovers.
Some will fly across the universe to make theirs smile.
Some will buy you flowers 'til make you cry.
Some always hold you tight.
Some set you free, but always give an eye.
Some kiss you on the lips.
Some kiss you on the heart.
Some leave you and see you from far.
Some love you 'til you can't ask more.

But who need some?
There's only one. Others? No, you just need one.

This happens quite often nowadays. I'm sitting in front of my laptop, signing in, and then everything's going blank. I don't have something to write. No, not like that.
I got a bunch of things but I'm confused what I should write first. This is killing me a bit. How I can not post anytime I want like I used to do. How I let my ideas flow up and never come back. How then the other idea tunes in but I can not type a thing. Even a word.

Inspirationless kills me.

You sit. Wondering about a few next months.
Things won't be the same. Will we? Or won't we?

17

I'm seventeen and I'm smarter than I used to be.

A Quarter-Life Crisis

Being teenagers is not as easy as putting a chewed chewing gum on somebody's chair.
Losing myself sounds so nowadays. Losing the grip of emotion. Bursting with tears or cursing over.
High school drama?
I don't have any.
Or maybe I have, but I ain't a so called drama queen so I won't call it drama. High school life and high school flick. They sound much better.
Dealing with time is the other thing. I guess 24 hours feels like a wink.
So called routine. I'm feeling this. A bit challenging.

Thanks for people who stay beside, cheer me up and put an eye, I wish you a zillion luck and prosper. :)
And those who don't? Like I care.

Dear love,
I simply believe that you are the joker sent from heaven.

Seize The Day

Why do we.....

wish for a second chance,
cry upon the past,
flirt over someone's boy/girlfriend,
let the ego take over,
waste what we have,
mind being down-to-earth,
call other people fake,
curse over school,
shout at mom,
insist on making things complicated,
own so-called friends,
recklessly cocky,
think we're always right?




why don't we....

call mom,
dance the heart out,
dress properly,
encourage true friends,
poke the lovers,
enjoy school time,
smile to the enemies,
be humble to strangers,
do the maths and physics and chemistry,
look inside,
be thankful for everything we got?


Carpe diem.
FPL

Random Paragraph

"You know I won't let you fall. I can be your standing grip, you can lean on me while preparing for your strength. You can feel my warmth before feeling the cold outside, Wanderer".
"Really? Aren't you scared of being left by me here, Vivacia? Don't you worry about the distance? Or are you faking a strong mimic to save me from being pieces cause we both should be separated by the function called times and miles?"
Vivacia nodded her head. Agree. Smile bitterly.
"A part of me.. you've taken a part of me when we first met and you never give it back. You bring it all your way. I know you're The Wanderer, but I love you just the way you are. If it will take ages to see you again, I don't mind. I'm here staying, loving. To be honest, I'm terribly afraid, Wanderer. I'm afraid of forgetting your calming voice, but I tend to be strong, I tend to be faith"
"What's the main reason, my dear? If it hurts the most, why should you?"
"I simply don't want anyone else. I simply want you. Evermore"

The Wanderer and Vivacia