Nowadays

Hellooooo I'm back. :DD
I really want to post something but I have no time at all yesterday and the two days previous. I had lotta things to do. Hehe
Well, Today I've just done my History's remedial and my dad has just arrived from Pekanbaru.
Tomorrow, I spent whole day with my best friends. It was Dina's and Lala's Birthday so I, Dwi, Aless, Aci, Dias, Feriz, Ale, and Derrie made surprise for them.

Aaaah, I want to post the photos but I forgot to bring my SLR yesterday so we used Emir's camera to take some picts and I haven't borrow his memory card so badly.

Today I'm having badmood but by my dad's arrival it becomes better and now I don't feel bad anymore. Yeah, maybe I'm just tired and need some days off that exactly I can not own because tomorrow there will be a party and I want to buy some shoes before it...
But I just don't know whether my dad will gimme some money or not. Hehe

and after a very long time I'd been dreaming, I watched Twilight yesterday. yuhuuuu

Woaaah, was it a lil bit late? or really fashionably late? hahaha
I likeee Jasper! and of course, Edward. Geeeezz, if he really existed, he would be mine ever after. :P
Hmm, although I was a little bit upset because less or more the film is still not exactly the same with the story that I've read, It didn't matter because the actors and the actress are superb and gorgeous.

How's your life, by the way?

...the reason why hard to forgive because there's no one ask for it.

Kamu tahu?
Hal yang paling sulit dilakukan adalah merapikan hati.

Ketika hati sudah pecah, hancur, tidak berbentuk,
Ketika hati sudah sulit disusun lagi, dengan ujung tajam yang tiap disentuh hanya terasa sakit
Ketika hati sudah berbentuk serpihan, melukai dengan dalam siapa pun yang mencoba membereskannya

Kamu coba pungut satu per satu serpihan yang ada, jelas itu menggoresmu,
membuat lukamu yang hampir kering berdarah lagi,
tapi
Kamu tahan rasa sakitnya,
Kamu bawakan lem, Kamu susun sedemikian rupa sehingga sama seperti bentuk awal,



tapi percuma.



Karena suatu yang pecah dan hancur,
sudah kehilangan bentuk aslinya.












Dan kamu tinggalkan pecahan itu begitu saja.
Ketika melewatinya, kamu bisa apa?
Kamu tidak akan melakukan apa-apa.

Kamu ingin membereskan serpihan, menyapunya, lalu membuangnya ke tong sampah.

Tapi............. kamu tidak bisa.

Semua serpihan melukaimu dengan dalam.
Merobek-robek hatimu yang masih tersisa.
Membuat sisa hatimu tak lama kemudian.......... mati.


Kenangan akan berfungsi seperti parasetamol.
Itu akan menghilangkan rasa sakit sesaat tapi kemudian rasa sakit itu akan kembali dan kenangan yang ada malah akan membuat air mata jatuh, tanpa harga.

Lalu ketika kamu merasa dirimu sudah cukup hampa, kamu memilih terpaku.
Benci dan rindu yang tersimpan di dadamu akan meluap dan membuat kamu emosi,
sesaat, tapi mematikan.
Dan seketika sesuatu yang pernah kamu simpan berubah jd segenggam kebencian.

Kebencian karena disakiti? Bisa jadi.
Tapi mungkin itu kebencian karena kamu ingin melakukan sesuatu, tp kamu tidak bisa.

Kamu akan sulit tidur, lalu memilih diam depan laptopmu.
Menatap kosong ke layarnya tanpa rasa ngantuk sekalipun jari-jarimu sudah terasa ngilu. Kamu bertahan, diam, tanpa senyum.



...Menulis sebuah post tanpa judul, lalu menangis.

Hate

I'm feeling not comfortable.
Too many heartthrobs, much loneliness and emptiness inside of me. Today.
Even though, I spent a lot of time with my buddies but after I got home and being alone, that emptiness would kill my soul, again.

I hate being alone.
Yeah, everybody does.

Mean

I'm so mean.
......................am I?
I don't know. You never tell.

I'm that mean.
......................am I?
I don't know. It's your turn to screw up but you never do.
I'm really mean.
......................am I?
I don't know. I just did those things to make you happy.
to make you happy.

by all means.

...

Hell yeah, I'm not that tough.
I get up everyday and believe my nightmare has already ended................

but it has not yet. I know it will be.

....and everyday I pray to God that you can live your best life too.

HOOOORAY!

Si calon dokter bedah yang ga tau apa itu virus dengue mendapatkan 80.00 untuk sumatif Biologi semester ini. :DDD
Alhamdulillaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.