A bit of Romcom

Most of guys I've ever dated now are married. To wonderful women? Sure, I guess. No, I'm not saying this in a mellow tune, or certain kind of sadness. It's just like when I realise each person you meet, each person you know actually teaches about understanding yourself better. About knowing your boundaries. About knowing what you want. About knowing what matters. A will see you this way, B will see you that way, which way do you want to believe? I guess the one you are comfortable of being.

No right or wrong, because your reflection on their eyes are somehow dispersed by their personalities, fears, and hopes, too.

And after all, after those heart breaks, lonely nights, tears,
after those happy days, laughter, and endless talk,
you will sit comfortably with yourself knowing there will be people who will take you when it's sunny or cloudy. And whether you are here or there. And whether you are going for your dreams, there will be people who respect you wholly, not being hurt or intimidated, not trying to hurt you, and will always respect your choice.

Love is real, darling. But make sure it doesn't intentionally hurt you.



Coventry, October 2018
FPL

Fall 2018

I write this as I am sitting inside Curiositea, the lovely small cafe in front of Piazza of The University of Warwick.
Here I am after all, sitting, breathing, ordering Salted Caramel Loaf that turns out tasting perfect.
It's been four years since college, now I'm back on it again. Quite later than the initial plan, though. I was thinking 3-year experience would be enough to hit the book again but life, back then, didn't let me. It asked me to wait.
Fyi, the University of Warwick is not located in Warwick, it is actually located in Coventry. A small quite city in West Midlands, UK.

Life has been so kind. Every step and decision that led me to come here finally proving why it should be this way, why I needed to be here at the very moment. I'm not talking about finding myself or creating bigger dreams or letting go of what hurts. I'm talking about how I am slowing down my pace, living in a quiet city, understanding people from different cultures, speaking with language that I'm not used to, visiting so many groceries with best friends, cooking my own meals, doing laundry with progressive methods, making new friends that feel like family, acknowledging which people who truly love me and who don't, all of those thing give the life itself meaning more than I ever felt.

I learn a lot how melancholy is necessary to make life sweet and soft, but having too much of it will not help anything. I learn how my journey is not there to be compared at with anyone else's, still I should not inflict hurt upon others too for the sake of my own happiness. Every good thing leads to another good thing, and that's pretty much what matters for now. As I'm sipping my latte and staring to the Piazza, well, God, thank You. I'm beyond grateful.



Love,
FPL

If You Wonder How I Live without Instagram

After weeks..or months.. of occupied weekend, I manage to find time to do blog-walking and read light fiction, yass I'm currently reading Rich People Problems. For these past 9 months, life is indeed overwhelming, infuriating, yet majestic. It's all about long trips, endless projects, meetups, and so on. The rest of it left me so drained that I just tucked myself under blanket, sleeping the good weekends off.  Apart from the endless events, life also gives me so much things to learn that I would not have it any other way. I'm grateful for bae who is constantly jacking up my vibes and lighting up the day. I'm grateful for finally finding courage to leave a lot of painful things behind, really behind. I'm grateful to finally decide what I want to do with my life and realize that I don't have to do what I don't want to do.

hilarious and entertaining

"I am much better than how I was", just like Taylor Swift said.

Another thing, I am currently on instagram sabbatical. My friends and family persistenly ask how I live my life without instagram.. Well, I am living my life with less distraction. Gone all the urge to scroll every five minutes. I have time to literally listen to people. I have time to take care for my body and eliminate what is not good. It might not work exactly that way to all people, some of my friends find quitting instagram doesn't do anything to their lives, but I suggest you to try it if you find that you hardly have time for anything you wanna do with your life. One thing I miss from instagram is only picking good filters and posting lovely pictures. ;)

But then I guess, I can just share those pictures here along with my thoughts. Glimpse of my Friday done right with coworkers. Spending lunch at Omah Sendok, Senopati celebrating one's birthday and chilling with my 13-year-of-friendship best friend at Social House, Grand Indonesia. I savored every moment, I didn't have the need to post any good pictures anytime soon on instagram, for sure.

lunch with a soothing view

dear beloved coworkers

chill with another soothing view

Basically, it's just me taking care of my soul, in order to take care of others, first we have to take care of myself, don't you agree?

I take my mojo back. Wishing 2K17 and of course the upcoming 2K18 both roll as wonderful as it's always been for all of us. Always spread love and positive vibes.

Love always,

FPL

Sweating Small Stuffs

Today I witness my best friend's courage to do what a man has got to do. I witness how every single thing I complain everyday becomes not significant, or actually never a big deal. I see how a man treasures what he has to go through. I see patience, I see courage, I see everything I think God wants me to see. Sweating small stuffs makes me feel shameful. Of course everyone has got their own journey, but leaving gratitude behind is never graceful. I think a lot about life, but today I get into new perspectives. Love more, forgive quickly, and just move on from anything that hurts. You don't know what tomorrow might bring, you need to relax, kiss more, and enjoy whatever life has to offer.

Don't sweat small stuffs. Treasure life, it is a gift.

FPL

Solitude is Bliss

Long holiday with no travel plans. I find comfort in silently thinking about what I want in between. Days of festivity, Eid Al Fitr. I have hard times in forgiving some people but I think that's the real quest, to forgive and just move on with whatever life offers. Stop dwelling and be more pure with our own intentions. I tried to, really, and that made me feel better. Of course, we happen to dislike some people, that is natural. What is not natural is holding onto the grudges and anger within. Since life is not always about you, do you ever think that what those people you hate ever did got nothing to do with you? Sometimes, it's plain about themselves and you don't need to take any credits of that.

Besides being forgiving, another difficult thing to do is letting go of a strong feeling. I've hold onto it for several months, and now, that I have time and space with myself to try to release it, it is stubbornly stuck with me. I know I've made it my favorite thing, my inner desire, my deepest anchor to get back to the vibes, realizing now I'm just holding on to something which is not quite right. It will take me months to finally get over it, but hopefully it will be easier and quicker.

Basically, it's PMS season and I'm kinda easily irritated that I cut down communication with people who might get my alarm firing. The only comfort I can find right now is being with myself. That's more than enough and I'm grateful.

Finding The One

I always wonder what main sign that we can easily use to define someone as the one. Should there be any sparks? Should you giggle all the time around him? Should he become someone who save you from jerks at nightclub? Or can it be as easy as your lunch mate? Or gym buddy? Or someone from your neighbourhood?

What sign can you easily point out? Or is it exactly like what books and films say, that when you know, you just know?

I've spent times asking people who already got married about how they finally find the one. Some say they do not really feel like he/she is the one. Some say they just feel like getting married. Some say they are so in love. Turns out, for every individual, finding the one is very personal and you can not just follow what's out there.

It is really about you and that person.

One of my best friends who is going to get married soon, one day, on a decent Friday afternoon lunch, gave me one perspective that suddenly changed my mind. I asked her why at the first place she chose the guy she was going to get married with. The answer was very simple, this guy might not be perfect, but he really could accept her in any manner she took, he could handle her at her best, and he also stayed during the worst. Really, that got me thinking.

We spent days and nights to think that we can choose, that we can find the one among so many people we meet. What if it should be easier?

What if there is really only one person who can take you for good or worse?

Really, would you let that one person pass you by? Don't you love the idea that someone out there in this world, can really accept you, and love you, more than you can handle yourself?

FPL

March's Been Good

I woke up this morning to a message from a friend, asking several things about his ex. I spilled him the details he needed then carried on with encouraging him to move on. I'm sticking with that belief, relationship should not be so hard, for sure how things happen, whether it is good or bad, is solely based on how we perceive them. A good life is only a good mindset away, well, stoic at its best. I came up with a thought that we really could tell ourselves anything we would want to perceive, and it kinda took me a while to realize that being in good mood, telling yourself good stories, having positive approach in life worked better than the otherwise. Sometimes, we spend so much time being our own worst critic, we tell ourselves things that is limiting and debilitating without realizing those are the ones that break us down, not the problem itself.

March's been awesome, it's not perfect but it lets life reveal some of its beauty. Beauty of hard work, beauty of patience, beauty of friendship. And at this moment, the peace is lingering on me. Future will reveal itself, I know I always can choose peace, and I'm choosing it over any other things.